Firstborns carrying the weight of their parentsโ€™ expectations

Firstborn struggles

Being the first born in Africa is no joke at all, and I believe that’s how it all over the world. It is just like as you’re born you’re christened (using my self as a case study) Chiamaka, mother and father of all her siblings. On this head shall be many, so many and even unnecessary responsibilities, these two little ears shall hear very constant yells and shouts. We Shall totally forget you’re a child yourself and expect you to be the all knowing. You shall take the responsibility of training your younger ones, we believe you must be well experienced from your past life and honestly? We don’t really care if you had that either. Just be a good child and lead your siblings alright. Every mistake your siblings make shall be put on your head. You better be omnipresent with an eagle’s eyes and yes! Lest I forget, you must be omniscient too.

Parent : your younger brother fought in his class and got injured? Where were you?! Firstborn: I was in my class mom.. Parent: doing what? What were you doing in class when you ought to be taking care of your younger brother, you should know better. Firstborn (totally confused, wondering if it was wrong to be class).

Honestly, parents need to relieve these kids of all this unnecessary stress. It chokes, we can’t breathe! Coming out first from the womb shouldn’t be a crime! ๐Ÿ˜”

Being a first born is being a living sacrifice!

I wanted to be sure it wasnโ€™t just me , I just wanted to be sure so I did a survey on WhatsApp, I asked my friends who are firstborns to share their experiences with me and omg !๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

First born experiences ๐ŸŒš

There is no lie here , feel free to argue the comment section

Like I said youโ€™re like the father and mother , everything will be on your head , when you can barely take care of yourself , you will take care of father, mother and their children

There were also comments like ” omo I don suffer , I no fit talk self.

๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’” he is not a firstborn though but what he said hit hard

At lot of firstborns have lost themselves trying to โ€˜comportโ€™ themselves , trying to be perfect and blameless , to avoid that scolding, to be the perfect example. The pressure is tooooo much . Please allow firstborns go through their own growth process before they start to nurture or help someone grow . They are kids too , take it easy !

Pressure don bend my back!๐Ÿ˜ฉ

Sometimes, you notice they start to transfer aggression to their siblings because they are literally walking frustration! You hear younger ones accusing firstborns of been mean , it is just frustration darling , hug your motherโ€™s firstborn today and tell them they are doing well, ooiinnnn๐Ÿ˜‚ To all the firstborns out there , the lord will reward all your labor of love ๐Ÿ’•

Being the firstborn is not a curse , but a blessing. Youโ€™re strong ,kind, wise, essential, youโ€™re worth more than you know , youโ€™re an icon , a world changer , youโ€™re everything the world needs . Breathe!

P.s: i would love to read about your own experience too. Share them with me in the comment box!

Also check out my last post and share with friends too..

GROWING UP NIGERIAN, A BLESSING OR A CURSE?

If you ask many Nigerians how they feel about being Nigerian, most don’t know! It is just one heck of a roller coaster experience, quite exhilarating ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜”. One minute you’re happy, next you’re sad, next you’re excited, next you just want to die, next you’re full of laughter, another moment you’re like why is life like this? Why this stress?, next thing : je ka Jaye jare (make we flex!). This makes Nigerians everything! Fun, hardworking, funny, savage, everything you can thing of even DAMAGED. Everything na hussle! Alot of us do all the hussling and neglect our mental health.. That’s why you find a lot of mad people that don’t know they are raving mad in Lagos state, because na we hussle pass๐Ÿ˜‚.


You dare not try this people ๐Ÿ˜‚ you will be eaten!
Everything na hustle! Danfo drivers? Ndi Ala (mad people) ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Now let’s not dwell on the bad part just yet! I want to take two moments to appreciate Nigerian food! Yes! Nigerian food of every tribe, igbo, yoruba, hausa, ijaw, efik, every damn tribe!

Yum yum๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹
Ayyyyyyyiiiiii๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹ I’m sure I already have you salivating

If you’re not Nigerian and you stumble upon my post add this to your to – do list ( eat Nigerian food today!) and mark it as important. At least that’s one thing I cherish about Nigeria (every foodie should), therefore, we would categorize food as a blessing!
Now, let’s move to culture, mmmmh I literally had to sigh because I don’t know for this one but let’s analyze. Culture: way of life of people. We have checked food, it is litty lit, let’s check language (tiv, hausa, igbo, efik, yoruba, Ishan e.t.c.). i don’t know if it just me but our languages are beautiful, so yummy ๐Ÿ˜‹ I smile (sometimes laugh) whenever I hear any Nigerian language. It totally reminds me of God’s sovereignty (I am Christian so I believe in God). Have you ever heard someone speak their language and you catch your self swallowing like was I about to salivate though? Lol yes, it is that sweet. So check โ˜‘๏ธ language is lit too.
Now, let’s move on to dressing! Yeh ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™†โ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ’ฏ Have you ever attended any traditional event? Wedding for example of any Nigerian tribe? I can’t even elaborate because I can’t fully express! Nothing I will express can justify, can fully tell in accuracy! But our attires are super! Colorful, creative, elegant, classy, unique , infact like the igbo will say omaka nno, it is beautiful! Even the white men if you have noticed have even embraced our Ankara aka Afrikan prints. And I’m living for it. Yes. They literally forced their culture on us until we began to see it as a norm, but our beauty and creativity can’t even be reprehended, you just have to love it. That’s why they love it!

Ndi igbo nwenne mโค๏ธโค๏ธ(igbo my people)
Just lewkkkk๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜
Beautiful people! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜
Chaiiii๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜

Our dance? Our dance? Nahhhhhh ehn! Our dance? Where can you find better dance moves? Please tell me! Leave in the comment box where you can because me as far as I concerned you can never! Yes, na me talk am, you can quote me anywhere. Our dances are exotic and full of life! If you don’t have energy avoid Nigerian dance please, please dear. Don’t be offended but leave it for us that have energy ๐Ÿ˜…

Oya shoki the shoki๐Ÿคฏ
E for ener what??

By the way, am I the only one who is really in love with Nigerian accent, like when we speak English and other foreign languages, nah, it can’t just be me!

Anyway, let’s talk about hair styles ; all back cornrows, Clap aka patewo, single braids aka one-one, goddess braids aka big big braids, differently sized cornrows aka rice and beans to mention a few, every child’s dream hairstyle Chai!

Our sense of humor, our accommodating spirit, our loving hearts, our parties, everything, see, Nigeria is just one very lit place! I have written about just 15% of Nigerian and it already seems like a fairytale ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜‚
You and I can attest to the fact that Nigeria is an awesome place, the only thing that has ruined it for us, our curse is just terrible leaders, horrific leaders that have dehumanized Nigerians and dipped on into the deepest messy waters, we’re drowning in debt while their pockets are full and overflowing, yet 60% of the citizens, if not more are deep in poverty, some have died of poverty and starvation, our health care system is nothing to write about! You hear people saying thank God for Corona virus! Thank you COVID-19, for without you these men would never have known what our hospitals look like, they never cared. Our educational system? Nothing! That’s why they can’t bear to see any of their seed in our schools because they know it’s standard, they know it offers nothing, they know they don’t pay teachers and Lecturers so we don’t get that QUALITY. The youths have become chief perpetrators of social vices, unemployment has eaten all the hopes and Light in them. Create your own jobs they said, stop been too dependent! Patronize us we cried back, I have started something, just patronize me please! But we would rather import, we would rather pay that expensive shipping fee. The society is a mess, what I hear every day is just too much to bear. I can’t even begin to talk about the rape culture right now, it is too deep and sad, the police brutality, child abuse, tribal killings, it is just sad.

I look at our leaders and how inhumane they are and tell myself but this is not what mothers raised now, this is not what parents taught. How did it happen? How did they let selfishness and greed take up all Their humanity? How are they not affected by this looting and killings, just look at Diezani Allison Madueke, how does she sleep at night? And they are many like her, just not exposed yet. Why is it so contagious? Why would some people promise change and go ahead to contract the same disease so quickly? How can we correct this? How can we heal our land? How can we purge our selves? So many questions.
In my own opinion, it starts from the Nigerian home, homes make the society, societies make the state (country). Bring back good values into the Nigerian home from peasants to leaders. No, does bad things shouldn’t be overlooked as normal.

We should start now to right the next generation!

Don’t think it is too little, just start!

As I wrote the title, I spoke to my self, if not shouted at myself. This is always what I’ve wanted to do. I have always thought to do this but never put my thoughts into action. And this the disease most of us suffer from, PROCRASTINATION, in my case it wasn’t just that, it was also me trying to be a PERFECTIONIST. I wanted to start out right, I wanted to start making, lol. I want my own website I said, I need to plan out quality content, let me get a better phone and a laptop, oh I have to grow my Instagram, many excuses but to me, they weren’t excuses, they were valid points, quite reasonable. My friend runs a blog @therealtofunmi.com (you should check her out), she inspires me, I smile every time I read her posts, I’m proud I say, I’d start my too I say. Recently she sent me a message on WhatsApp asking if I knew any blogger, in my head I’m like that could be me but I replied no because she is the only blogger I know personally. Just today, I viewed her WhatsApp status, same request, I saw a group chat, I saw @ something something.wordpress.com, I said ehn?! I have a WordPress account now. I checked my mail, I saw happy one month birthday to fromchi’sinside from WordPress. I smiled, but it was a sad smile, they saw me as a thing I didn’t see my self as I thought it was too small but they thought it was just enough. Hence my very first blog post. I hope this reaches out to someone, whoever stumbles upon this START START START. YOU’RE CAPABLE. GROWTH MIGHT NOT BE RAPID BUT CONTINUE, DO IT BECAUSE YOU CAN!

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